


twain of ill-fate

by fromthefarshore



Series: of living and not [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Writoween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5103692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthefarshore/pseuds/fromthefarshore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi Hajime starts seeing ghosts when he's still in kindergarten. He always looks at them from afar and he never talks to them.That is until years later, when he's twenty and some ghost with the name of Oikawa Tooru appears in front of him.</p><p>(It's a separate story. The only relation in these series is that the themes are related to Halloween.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	twain of ill-fate

Iwaizumi Hajime starts seeing ghosts when he's still in kindergarten. There are not that many of them as it seems that not everyone becomes a ghost. They never talk to Iwaizumi, but he can always see the shadows around, sometimes completely transparent figures with only hardly visible lines, sometimes almost as real as humans. Somehow they don't scare him though, they don't do anything to him and Iwaizumi simply treats all the ghosts as a natural part of the world. 

Some ghosts are in human world only for a little while, some of them stay longer, and in years Iwaizumi realises quite a few things, learning to recognize them. The ones that die their own death, usually older people, appear in front of his eyes just for a moment. He saw his grandfather like this when he passed away. It was natural death, and he was smiling, looking around himself for a little while before disappearing. Another type is the one Iwaizumi likes and at the same time hates the most. The people who die earlier than they were supposed to appear in a form that can differ from what they looked like when they died. Iwaizumi thinks that probably they choose a form of when they were the happiest, but it's only his guess. Such ghosts spend their remaining time until when their natural death would have occurred wandering the earth, and Iwaizumi sometimes finds himself thinking if that's a misery or a blessing. They look most human, and sometimes they meet Iwaizumi's eyes, giving him a smile. Sometimes they are visible to others too. Just for a moment though, making it feel like they've seen a familiar face in the crowd. And sometimes those ghosts talk between themselves as if they're still human; Iwaizumi has seen it, though the voices never reach his ears. There are also a few other types – the almost transparent ones when a person is on verge of dying but makes it out alive, or the ones that appear in more of a shadow when some people fall asleep and have certain dreams. 

Iwaizumi always looks at them from afar, he never tries talking to them, and never gets out of their way, letting them flow through him without anything more than occasional shiver. That is until years later, when he's twenty and some ghost goes through him with a laugh. 

It's the first time Iwaizumi hears a ghost's voice, and it's nothing like human's. It's a lot softer, but at the same time rather deep, he can hear it with a bit of echo as if it's repeating itself in Iwaizumi's head. That laugh is mesmerizing, and it makes Iwaizumi stop and turn around. 

The ghost smiles at him, tilting his head to the side. It's in a form of a young man, probably around Iwaizumi's age, brown hair and eyes of the same colour, tall and handsome, only a brace over one of his knees indicating that something is wrong. A too early death, Iwaizumi decides and wonders how many years this brown haired man is going to live as a ghost. He looks somehow familiar, but Iwaizumi can't remember where he could have seen him. 

"Do you ever wonder why ghosts never bother to walk around people and go directly through them instead?" the ghost chirps, putting his hands on his hips, a smile on his face widening. 

"I don't, it's not my business," Iwaizumi mutters, somehow feeling annoyed, and thinks maybe he should have better ignored all of this and walked away. The ghost is wearing an all knowing smirk now, and he floats closer to Iwaizumi, extending his arm that disappears in Iwaizumi's chest. 

"Because it feels warm," he mutters, and Iwaizumi steps back, frowning. The ghost laughs, "It's the first time I see someone like you. I know some people see me, but none of them were able to hear my voice." 

"Lucky them," Iwaizumi shots back despite himself and takes a deep breath, "You're not very good at making first impression." 

The ghost chuckles, shrugging his shoulders. 

"I thought I picked your interest, at least my voice did," he looks satisfied with himself, and takes a deep breath - which he probably doesn't need, Iwaizumi notes and decides that the young man has been ghost only for a short while. "And I refuse to believe that my looks didn't make everything even better." 

Iwaizumi closes his eyes and turns around. He feels bad about it, but the idea of someone killing this man for something he has said crosses his mind. 

"Your bad personality brings it all down anyway," he comments, sighing and starting to walk away. It's true, the ghost's voice is wonderful, and he's pleasant to look at, but none of it matters as probably it's the first and last time they talk. Iwaizumi puts his hands in the pockets and yawns, thinking what he should get for dinner. Hot tofu sounds nice. 

"The name's Oikawa Tooru. If you ever feel lonely and want to talk, just call it," the ghost pops in front of him, winking after his words, and disappears in a second. 

Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi repeats in his head. It's a nice name if he chose the correct kanji characters for it. "Reaching the river" and "Travelling along" are the meanings that came first to his mind, and he snorts to himself. A beautiful name that fits the look in the ghost's eyes, he thinks and with a groan promises himself to never say it aloud. 

He also adds more on his information about ghosts. If what this brown haired ghost is saying is true, it seems that you can call a ghost by their names and they will appear in front of you. 

Also, it means they can control their being more than Iwaizumi has ever imagined. 

\- 

Iwaizumi neither sees nor hears the brown haired ghost for a few months and nearly forgets about him. 

\- 

He meets Kageyama - a third year in high school - at the door to his apartment, holding an envelope. There's a troubled expression on his face and Iwaizumi comes closer, asking if everything is alright. They get along quite well from the day Iwaizumi moved in and went to introduce himself to his neighbours. Kageyama's mother sometimes even brings him some meals, and sometimes Iwaizumi helps Kageyama with studying. He couldn't call the younger boy his best friend, but Iwaizumi likes to think of them as quite close, and he can't ignore the troubled boy. 

"I got scouted for university with volleyball scholarship," Kageyama says as if he didn't want that, even though Iwaizumi knows the boy has dreamed to continue playing volleyball in the future. 

"Is there something wrong about it? Is the team too weak?" he asks and Kageyama shakes his head. 

"They have the best team," he mutters, then takes a deep breath, looking at Iwaizumi, "I'm just not sure if I can go there. Oikawa Tooru. He's– he was the best setter I ever knew. He went there." 

"Oikawa Tooru?" Iwaizumi repeats, and curses inside his head when the ghost of a told man materializes in front of him. 

"One and only," the ghost says in the chirpy tone of his, and Iwaizumi has to bite on his lip not to say anything back. Of course, he thinks. He remembers seeing the picture of Oikawa in Kageyama's volleyball magazine, that's why he looked familiar. 

"He passed away not long ago," Kageyama mouths and looks away, "I can't believe that, it's so not _fair,"_ he gasps for air, then looks at Iwaizumi again as if waiting for some explanation, "It was a knee injury, and he had to undergo an operation, but there were some complications and-" 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Iwaizumi says in hushed tones, and Kageyama lowers his head. When Iwaizumi casts his eyes to look at Oikawa besides himself, there's no smile on the ghost's face, and it somehow makes it harder to breathe. "I'm sorry," he repeats again, and from the corner of his eye Iwaizumi sees Kageyama nod, but this time the words are meant not for him. 

Oikawa averts his eyes and stays silent. Then, he vanishes. 

\- 

When Iwaizumi gets back to his flat, he thinks about calling the name. He doesn't know what he would say, but his mind is wrapped around the brown haired ghost and he can't concentrate on anything else. Maybe a sorry, he thinks, but then chases the idea away. Indeed, he said and thought some harsh things, but telling that he's sorry for it only after hearing the story would feel somehow wrong. 

He doesn't come up with anything to say, and gives up on the idea to call Oikawa's name. When he goes to bed, he dreams of a river, a young man drowning in it, but however much he tries, Iwaizumi can't reach his hand. 

\- 

He sees Oikawa a couple of days later, sitting by himself on a bench in the park. Iwaizumi thinks for a moment, then goes to sit next to him. There are no people around anyway, and the ghost seems in need of some company. 

"How come you sit on the bench but go right through people?" 

Oikawa turns to him, his eyes widening for a moment, then he smiles, but the smile is bitter and Iwaizumi thinks it doesn't fit on Oikawa's face. 

He doesn't expect the answer, but it comes, a pleasant sound of Oikawa's calm voice reaching Iwaizumi. 

"I- the ghosts kind of can control it," he shrugs, "If we didn't control it at all, we would just fall through the ground itself. It took me a while to get used to it. It's like..." he furrows his eyebrows, thinking, "like we create some kind of barrier and it stops us," he extends his arm, his finger stopping when it touches Iwaizumi's leg, "See? If I think there's a barrier, my finger doesn't go through. Just all that thinking part happens naturally. Thinking without actually thinking," he gives a weary smile and pulls his arm away. 

"What if I move? I still didn't feel your touch," Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa laughs, shaking his head. 

"The barrier moves too. Or, if it's not possible, it disappears and I go through." 

Iwaizumi nods slowly and falls silent. Oikawa turns to look in front of him, his glare fixed on something, even though there's nothing to look at. He seems to be deep in his thoughts again, and Iwaizumi thinks that maybe he should leave the ghost alone. 

"The boy," suddenly Oikawa says, but he doesn't look at Iwaizumi, keeping his eyes focused on something that maybe only he can see, "Kageyama Tobio. Can you make him– Please tell him to accept that offer," he takes a deep breath, biting his lip, "I saw him play, _I_ wanted him on the team. Don't let him lose this chance because of my accident. Tell him to keep moving. Tell him that I would be proud he made it this far." 

Iwaizumi opens his mouth, but closes it again at loss of words, and nods, only a silent hum escaping his throat. Oikawa turns to him, and his eyes look teary, but he manages a smile, even though it's crumbling. 

"If you're going to hit it, hit it until it breaks," he mutters, and lets out a bitter laugh, "I used to say it all the time, it gave me strength during plays. I never thought that the same phrase could be used on me." 

"You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want to," Iwaizumi interrupts him and Oikawa smiles. 

"Do you believe in fate, Iwaizumi Hajime?" he asks, and Iwaizumi thinks where does Oikawa know his name from. 

"I never thought about it," he admits. Oikawa's eyes stay on him a bit longer, then he looks away again. 

"I do," he whispers after a while, "Why else I would be here with you now? Why else would I know your name from the moment we met?" his voice is trembling a bit and he takes a shaky breath, "I feel like I need to tell you this. I don't know why, but I do." 

"I will listen then," Iwaizumi says and he means it. It feels like Oikawa was waiting for these words, and Iwaizumi hears him mutter a silent "Thank you". 

He looks at Oikawa's fingers on the bench and without thinking places his hand over Oikawa's. The ghost's fingers disappear under Iwaizumi's skin. Oikawa smiles, for the first time today the smile reaching his eyes. Somehow, it makes Iwaizumi's heart hurt. 

"I overtrained myself and my knee started hurting. Nothing much at first, and it was perfectly fine if I was wearing a simple brace, so," he stops for a second as if hesitating, and Iwaizumi's eyes travel to Oikawa's knee, "so I didn't feel I need to worry about it." 

Iwaizumi lets out a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment as he knows where all of this is going. 

"Eventually, I've completely torn my ACL. That's anterior cruciate ligament, it provides stability to the knee joint. And there also were some other injuries to the knee, so I had to undergo an operation. Plus, no more volleyball." 

Oikawa stops, staying silent for a while. 

"You know, maybe it was wrong of me, maybe everything was taken too seriously when I said that I don't want to live if I can no longer play volleyball." 

When he hears the words, the way Oikawa'a voice breaks slightly, when he sees him blink fast as if trying to stop himself from crying, Iwaizumi feels like hugging Oikawa, pressing him against his chest in attempt to comfort him, but he can't even do that. It brings a strange feeling to his chest, it feels like he's known Oikawa for a long while and is trying to reach him, but it's all in vain. 

Oikawa takes a deep breath. 

"The operation seemed to be a success. _Seemed_ is a key word here," he smiles sadly, locking his eyes with Iwaizumi's for a moment, "Bacterial infection of implanted ACL tissue. Boom. And here I am. 

"What?" Iwaizumi blinks at him, trying to search for suitable words, "Death from infection? Isn't it-" 

"Super rare? Impossible?" Oikawa snorts, "The rate of infection is less than 1%. Death from it? Oh, I don't even know. Probably a few zeros before any other number." 

"I'm... I'm sorry," Iwaizumi finally says, biting his lip. When he lowers his eyes, he sees that Oikawa's hand is over his now, as if he's holding onto it. He wonders if the ghost still feels warm like this. 

"Someone has to make these numbers," Oikawa's voice is low, barely a whisper, but somehow Iwaizumi can hear it clearly, "I was always told I was a rebel, determined to go through things that seemed impossible. Too bad that this time that impossible was death." 

"Is it hard? Living like a ghost," Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa hums while thinking. 

"Not really. I mean, you can go where you want, do what you like. You don't really feel how fast or slow the time is going. I can lay on my back and stare in the sky searching for aliens all I want," Oikawa's voice is a bit dreamy now and he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. Only now Iwaizumi realises that Oikawa seems to be more human than ghost. All of his reactions, his breaths and sighs, and his laughter are all more alive than some of the people's Iwaizumi knows. 

"Do you have to sleep?" he asks, trying to find a line where humans become ghosts. 

Oikawa laughs, shaking his head. 

"No. But sometimes you're... Sometimes you are here and sometimes you are not. I guess it's a bit like sleeping? No dreams though, no waiting to fall asleep while lying down. You're just _not_ here," he shrugs, then his expression changes and he looks down, "But being a ghost... It's..." 

"It's what?" 

Oikawa lifts his eyes and looks at Iwaizumi, reading his face. He smiles then as if he found something he was looking for, and leans forward, wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi. 

"It's lonely," he says under his breath. Iwaizumi blinks, and when his eyes are open again there's nothing in front of him. 

"Oikawa Tooru," he tries saying, looking around, but the ghost doesn't appear. 

\- 

"I thought you would appear if I called your name," Iwaizumi grunts when he sees Oikawa in the park again. 

"Oh, Iwa-chan, where's your greeting?" he laughs, then shrugs his shoulders, "You're not my master, I can choose if I want to come." 

"Are you sure you're a ghost? Not a demon?" Iwaizumi snorts, rolling his eyes. "And what's with 'Iwa-chan', it sounds awful." 

"It sounds _nice_ ," Oikawa lets out a puff, pouting. "Why am I connected with someone so rude," he mutters to himself and Iwaizumi frowns. 

"Connected?" 

"I decided to call it connection," Oikawa looks at him, "It explains why you can hear my voice and why I feel attracted to you." 

Iwaizumi chokes. 

"Attracted? You realise it sounds like confession?" 

Oikawa looks at him as if Iwaizumi's the one who said something strange. Then he carefully nods. 

"I am attracted to you and I don't see why I should hide it." 

"We met total of three times, you don't know anything about me, you _can't_ be attracted to me," Iwaizumi spills the words, feeling his face burn. Oikawa shrugs. 

"I told you. Fate. I don't know how it works, but I feel what I feel. And I know you, Iwaizumi, just you don't understand it yet." Oikawa's voice is a bit harsh, and Iwaizumi doesn't know what to make of it. It almost makes him mad, he feels like someone is playing a game with him, with both of them, but he's the only one who doesn't know the rules. 

"There's nothing I can do," Oikawa sighs, but now his voice is more gentle, and he smiles, "I just go along," he says and laughs to himself. 

"What's so funny?" 

"I just thought about the meanings of our names. You're the 'Water spring crag' for Iwaizumi and 'One' for Hajime, right? If I reach for the river and travel along, sooner or later I will meet one of such crags," he says, looking at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi laughs. 

"At least you could have confessed in a better manner," he turns around and starts walking away. 

"I will, later," Oikawa says, but he doesn't follow. It makes Iwaizumi a bit irritated and he realises that he might have wanted to be followed. 

\- 

Iwaizumi talks with Kageyama about the volleyball scholarship, and the boy finally decides to accept it. 

When he says it to Oikawa, the ghost lets out a relieved sigh and his face breaks into a smile. 

"Thanks, Iwa-chan. I couldn't have lived with knowing that I crushed his dream." 

Iwaizumi laughs, and thinks if it's appropriate to comment on that. He decides that if Oikawa says whatever comes to his mind, he can also do it. 

"You could have lived just fine. Maybe it's for the best that you're a ghost, maybe it makes you nicer." 

Oikawa lets out a puff and laughs, pretending to punch Iwaizumi in the ribs. His fist disappears though, and he lets out a satisfied hum. 

"You know, your warmth is the best," he says under his breath, and Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. 

"Don't be a creeper," he says, but the corners of his lips turn upwards and he doesn't back off. Oikawa notices and smiles wider. 

\- 

"Try this one," Oikawa points to milk bread when Iwaizumi goes to convenience store. Iwaizumi thinks for a moment, then takes it. Oikawa smiles. 

"It's my favourite thing," he purrs, closing his eyes. "I wonder if you will like it." 

"Probably not," Iwaizumi carefully mutters under his breath just to tease Oikawa, and smiles to himself when the ghost pouts. 

Iwaizumi eats the bread when he gets back home and it's actually quite delicious. He doesn't say it to Oikawa, but when they see each other the next day, the ghost smirks as if he knows. 

\- 

Iwaizumi starts seeing more and more of Oikawa. He's almost always in the park where Iwaizumi goes for a run, sometimes they meet in streets and Oikawa walks him home. He usually just disappears when Iwaizumi opens the door to his apartment, waving goodbye that is more often than not followed with a wink when he promises to see him soon again. 

"Why don't you come inside?" 

Oikawa blinks at him, his mouth open. 

"Do you need an invitation like vampires? Come inside, you're welcome," Iwaizumi holds the door open, waiting until Oikawa steps inside. 

"I thought it inappropriate," Oikawa says, looking around. 

"You confess your feelings like it's nothing, hug me and walk through me, but you think it inappropriate to come into my house?" Iwaizumi lets out a sigh and crosses his arms, leaning against closed doors. 

Oikawa shrugs, lowering his eyes, and Iwaizumi spots a faint flush on his cheeks. It's interesting how human Oikawa is, and Iwaizumi smiles to himself. It's rather lovely, but he doesn't say it aloud. 

"It's somehow different," Oikawa mutters, then laughs, his laughter carefree and musical, just how it sounded the first time they met. Iwaizumi lets his eyes stay on Oikawa a bit longer and feels his expression soften. After spending more time with Oikawa, he came to enjoy the ghost's company and started thinking that the connection Oikawa mentioned before is actually affecting him too. His eyes wander to Oikawa's shoulders, then he lets himself catch a short glimpse of Oikawa's lips. 

He wonders what would it feel like to feel Oikawa's embrace. What would it taste like to kiss his lips. 

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa looks at him with his eyebrows raised, and it brings Iwaizumi back to reality, however strange the word sounds in his head when he's standing two steps from the ghost. 

"Let's go inside," he says, averting his eyes, and takes a deep breath, "I think I still have some DVDs I didn't give back yet. Want to watch it?" 

"Sure." He can hear a smile in Oikawa's voice and he sighs. He knows some stories about people befriending ghosts, but when he's in such position himself everything seems different. 

\- 

When he visits Iwaizumi again, Oikawa asks if they can watch a romance drama. Iwaizumi grumbles a bit, but eventually agrees. 

Oikawa sits next to Iwaizumi on the floor and after a while tilts his head to rest it on Iwaizumi's shoulder. Iwaizumi doesn't physically feel it, but he sees it in their reflection on the screen. It brings a warm feeling to his chest. 

When the movie gets to the sad part, Iwaizumi hears Oikawa sniff. There's no wetness of Oikawa's tears on his skin, but he sees transparent drops falling down and disappearing before they touch the ground. 

"It'll get to happy ending, it always does," Iwaizumi intones and Oikawa laughs silently. 

"I know that," he says, "But it doesn't make it any less sad." Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa for a bit longer, then takes a deep breath and stirs, lifting his arm and putting it on the bed behind them, turning his body a bit to face Oikawa. 

"Come here," he nearly whispers, and Oikawa gives him one of those smiles that reach his eyes. He leans forward and wraps his arms around Iwaizumi. And even though Iwaizumi doesn't feel this either, he also smiles. 

\- 

"Oikawa Tooru." 

The brown haired ghost appears in front of Iwaizumi and smiles. 

"You've been calling my name quite a lot lately," he says and there's a note of tease in his voice, but Iwaizumi ignores it. He snorts, shrugging his shoulders. 

"Bad habit," he mutters, "Want to have a walk? The sky is clear tonight, maybe you'll see some aliens this time." 

Oikawa laughs. 

"I'm in." 

\- 

Sometimes Iwaizumi dreams that same dream with the man drowning in the river. He reaches for his hand and grabs it, but then he realises that it's himself who is drowning and the one who takes his hand is Oikawa. 

"I've got you," he says and Iwaizumi feels saved. 

\- 

When Iwaizumi thinks about it, he doesn't know if time flies really fast or moves very slowly. He remembers Oikawa telling him that he doesn't feel the flow of time, and Iwaizumi wonders if he's becoming the same. 

He casts a short glimpse at Oikawa when they're sitting on swings, looking at the sun setting behind the buildings. His eyebrows seem to be furrowed, and it reminds Iwaizumi of the look Kageyama had on his face that time he was holding an envelope with offer from university. 

"What's troubling you?" he asks in low voice and Oikawa's shoulders hunch. 

"I was thinking," Oikawa says. "Aren't you getting too attached to me?" he asks after a bit of hesitation, his eyes looking forward, fixed on something. Iwaizumi looks closer at him, at his chocolate brown hair, at his pale skin and beautiful hands, and thinks just when during all these months did he fall for Oikawa. When did his grunts change to pleased hums, when did he start saying Oikawa's name aloud to see him more often, when did his sarcastic comments about Oikawa being attracted to him stopped and changed to little smiles? 

"You ask this now?" he finally replies. Oikawa stays silent, and Iwaizumi thinks that all those months ago when they have just started talking Oikawa would have vanished if faced with such situation. "You told it yourself many times before. Fate. Connection," he takes a deep breath, and Oikawa finally looks at him. "I feel what I feel and I can't help it." 

There's something awfully wrong about the way Oikawa acts, but Iwaizumi can't put his finger on it. 

"Oikawa, I–" 

"I'm a _ghost_ , Iwaizumi. I'm dead," Oikawa gulps, "Nothing good will come out of this." 

It's sudden and there's a strange shadow in Oikawa's eyes that Iwaizumi has never seen before. He doesn't like it. There's a bit of fear and guilt there, but he can't understand where exactly it's coming from. 

"What has gotten into you?" he breathes and Oikawa bites his lip, lowering his eyes. 

"You know what ghosts like me call this? I heard it only yesterday and... It seems that such things happen from time to time, but no one wants to talk about it. And it feels– it feels like I've been being played with and I'm dragging you down with myself. Please... Please forgive me." 

"What are you talking about?" Iwaizumi lets out a fake laugh, his voice a bit shaky. "Oikawa?" he says when the ghost doesn't answer for a while. 

"Twain of ill-fate. That's what they call those like us," he mutters, letting out a deep sigh, " _And so they will follow the death of the first, a one year will pass and the twain souls will meet._ " 

There's a sad look on Oikawa's face and suddenly he seems on the verge of crying. 

"Does it mean I'm going to die in a few weeks when a year after our meeting passes?" Iwaizumi thinks aloud and Oikawa disappear for a moment just to appear right in front of Iwaizumi, his hands placed on Iwaizumi's shoulders. 

"Don't say that!" his voice is raw and it's shaking, "Don't even think about it, it's _not_ funny." 

"What am I supposed to say then?" Iwaizumi asks, and he's surprised himself just how calm he is. Somewhere deep inside he feels like he knew this all along, but he doesn't dare to say it now. Oikawa looks at him with a broken expression on his face, lowering his eyes in thought. He lets a silent gasp and looks up again, his eyes widened. 

"What if I disappeared? What if I never showed myself in front of you again?" 

Iwaizumi feels his heart clench at this and it's his turn to raise his voice. 

" _Don't_." 

"But it might work!" 

"It won't!" Iwaizumi's hands start shaking and suddenly his heart starts beating too fast. "It _won't_ change, I _know_ it," he says, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths as he tries to calm down. He hears Oikawa whine, and opens his mouth again before the other says anything, "If it's my fate, then I can't do anything about it." 

"You don't even want to _try_!" Oikawa sounds desperate, yelling the words in Iwaizumi's face, and Iwaizumi wants to do something - anything - to stop him. He takes another deep breath, his eyes fixed on Oikawa's. 

"Listen, Oikawa. _If_ by any chance I die, I'd rather you were with me. Don't leave me, okay?" 

Oikawa looks him into the eyes as if searching for something, then with the look of defeat bites his lip so hard it becomes white, and slowly nods. 

"Okay?" Iwaizumi asks again, and he sees how Oikawa blinks away the tears forming in his eyes. He takes a shaky breath and wraps his arms around Iwaizumi. 

"Okay." 

\- 

The following weeks pass just like any others. At first Iwaizumi thinks that maybe he should do something different if he's going to die, but it feels somehow fake, so he simply sticks to his routine. Oikawa doesn't bring up the topic any more, but sometimes Iwaizumi can see a worried look in his eyes. 

It's going to be fine, he thinks, and sometimes the look in Oikawa's eyes goes away. 

\- 

"Tomorrow's the day, huh?" Iwaizumi takes a deep breath. He's lying in the bed, Oikawa standing leaned against the doors to the balcony. 

"Why do you feel so relaxed?" he asks and walks to the bed, lying next to Iwaizumi. "You know, dying isn't fun." 

"What good will panicking do? It'll just make things worse. Maybe the fact that I see ghosts almost all of my life adds to it." 

Oikawa sighs. 

"Hey, Iwa-chan?" 

Iwaizumi turns to look at Oikawa, their eyes locking. Oikawa looks a bit sad, but there are no tears in his eyes this time, there's warmth behind that sadness instead and Iwaizumi desperately wants to get a touch of it. 

Oikawa smiles at him faintly. 

"I love you." 

Iwaizumi smiles back at him, moving a bit to the side so that he would touch Oikawa. He likes the idea of Oikawa feeling warm when he goes through him, and he likes seeing the little smile that appears on Oikawa's face because of that. 

"What's gotten into you so suddenly?" 

Oikawa hums, stirring a bit in an attempt to shrug his shoulders. 

"What if it's a natural death and you don't stay here with me?" 

"Twain of ill-fate, wasn't it?" he says with a bitter smile on his face. "I think at this point I couldn't get rid of you even if I wanted to." 

"I can see why you're the other half for me," Oikawa rolls his eyes, "It must be our personalities, don't you think?" 

"Might be," Iwaizumi snorts, "At least for your part." 

"You're so mean," Oikawa pouts, narrowing his eyes. Iwaizumi doesn't reply to that, and they stay silent, looking at each other. 

"Hey, Tooru?" Iwaizumi whispers after a while, and Oikawa hums in reply, waiting for more. "I love you too," he murmurs, and Oikawa's smile widens. 

"I know," he whispers back, then, without any hesitation, leans to kiss Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi wishes that he would feel it. 

\- 

Oikawa doesn't leave Iwaizumi the whole day, but the moment the accident happens, he disappears against his own will. 

They're walking back home when Iwaizumi gets stabbed. It's sudden, it happens so fast that Oikawa doesn't even have time to scream, and then, nothing. 

Later, Oikawa finds himself back in the place where one year ago his and Iwaizumi's paths crossed for the first time. He waits there, not daring to walk anywhere else, and repeats Iwaizumi's name in hope it might reach the other, but it doesn't work. 

Oikawa doesn't know how much time passes, but it must be a few days later - one of the ghosts who happened to pass him said that they materialize as ghosts only after being cremated - when he hears the familiar voice calling his name. Oikawa lets out a deep sigh. Then, he smiles. 

\- 

Iwaizumi feels like he's still alive, even though his body is somehow lighter and everything around seems a bit strange. He blinks a few times and shakes his head, trying to get to his senses. The place is familiar, and Iwaizumi looks around a bit more. He doesn't see any people, and he doesn't see any ghosts except for one figure that makes him smile. He calls the name and sees how Oikawa turns to his direction, then disappears just to materialize in front of him. 

"Hey," Iwaizumi says in a small voice, not daring to look Oikawa into the eyes. 

"Hey." Oikawa's voice is soft and mesmerizing as always. When Iwaizumi looks up, Oikawa is smiling at him, and it makes him want to cry. 

"Do you believe in fate?" Iwaizumi asks silently, and Oikawa nods, letting out a short laugh. 

"I do. Come here," he says, opening his arms. Iwaizumi smiles and leans into Oikawa's arms that wrap around him in a tight embrace. Iwaizumi moves his hands to Oikawa's back. For the first time Oikawa doesn't go through his fingers and Iwaizumi is able to hug him back. 

"It's good to see you," Oikawa sniffs close to Iwaizumi's ear and tightens his hold even more. 

"It's good to see you too," Iwaizumi says, and he can feel tears starting to roll down his cheeks. Oikawa laughs and buries his face deeper in the crook of Iwaizumi's neck. 

It tickles a little bit, but it's the first time Iwaizumi can feel Oikawa's embrace and it's wonderful. It feels as if he's wrapped in soft warmth, and he doesn't want to let go. 

It's Oikawa who pulls away a bit, looking into Iwaizumi's face. 

"You look a bit younger," he says and Iwaizumi laughs. 

"I think I look like from around that time you started coming to my house," he smiles and Oikawa laughs. 

"You wanted to kiss me then," he gives Iwaizumi a smirk. "Don't think I didn't notice." 

"I did," Iwaizumi agrees. He lets go of Oikawa just to move his hands to the other's face. It's soft and warm, a bit wet from tears, but Iwaizumi likes it. "And I still do." 

Oikawa hums, and Iwaizumi wraps his arms around Oikawa's neck, his fingers getting lost in the brown hair he's always craved the touch of. He pulls Oikawa down and kisses his lips. 

The kiss is as gentle and soft as the look in Oikawa's eyes when he smiles. 

And his lips– Iwaizumi's mouth corners turn upwards. They taste a bit of milk bread. 

\- 

"Do you feel lonely?" Oikawa asks, looking at Iwaizumi with a smile. 

Iwaizumi furrows his eyebrows, "Why would I? Do you?" 

Oikawa laughs silently and shakes his head. 

"No. No, I don't," he takes a deep breath, his hand reaching for Iwaizumi's, "I haven't for quite a while now." 

Iwaizumi looks at him for a long moment, something on his mind, and Oikawa thinks he sees him blush lightly. 

"I never got to tell you this, but," Iwaizumi stops briefly, "Your warmth is the best too." 

Oikawa looks at him with wide eyes, then his lips break into the widest of smiles. 

"Don't be a creeper, Iwa-chan," he mocks him, but then after a while adds, "Thank you." 

It's not just for the compliment though, and Iwaizumi knows it. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry, I just wanted to write a fic about Iwaizumi befriending ghost Oikawa and this happened...  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
